The Letter That Saved My Life

At 40, I was busy. Enjoying the chaotic life as a mother who was loving up her 3 children, one who was just 2 years old, my own health wasn’t my top consideration let’s just say.  My breast exam with my GP took a strange turn. Her face indicated there was something amiss while examining my left breast during my routine physical. She said nothing as she continually kneaded away at something in my breast. She applied increasing amounts of pressure in a circular motion until she seemed satisfied that she’d broken apart something unidentified that was present in my breast.

This was so excruciating that I had no choice but to believe that she’d successfully broken whatever that was apart. I trusted her in that moment because I wanted to run away and cry due to the horrible pain. I wasn’t thinking of myself or of what that was or even why she had proceeded this way. I just needed to go home and make lunch for my kids. After completing the exam, she looked me square in the eyes and said,

“Now…you’re healthy. Healthy women don’t need to see me every year for a physical. Perhaps every three years. The next time you’re in, we will talk about sending you for a mammogram.”

She smiled and left the room. I was still in so much pain that I could barely respond let alone ask her what she’d done and exactly what that was in my breast.

For weeks the bruising and pain in my left breast persisted. It slowly improved, and I continued on with my career and children, feeling assured that I was healthy. I believe I’d been called back on blood work from that physical. She called me in to ask about my memory… apparently my vitamin B12 levels were low. She asked me to take supplements for this. So, I’d felt ‘looked at’ and ‘healthy.’ Having just finished breast feeding the year before, I’d chalked up that mysterious breast exam experience to her giving me an incredibly painful massage to get a knot out.

Fast forward 3 years. It’s now the COVID pandemic. I receive a letter from CancerCare Manitoba’s Cervix Check Program reminding me that I was due for a pap smear. Little did I know that this letter would end up saving my life.

Recalling that my doctor had said that I was healthy and that I should come back within 3 years, I tried to schedule a physical with her. Her receptionist said that it had been too long and she wouldn’t schedule me for a physical. I was shocked. Hadn’t she told me that I was healthy and to come back in three years?

Noting the need for a routine pap smear was enough to now keep me dedicated to finding a new GP.

The advocate in me had become lit up.

Something wasn’t right here. I knew I’d been misinformed and grossly undercared for, and it was time to invest in a doctor who communicated and helped me to place my health as my number one priority.

When becoming a new patient, most doctors ask if you’ve been performing regular self-breast exams. When I was asked this question by my prospective doctor, I’d suddenly panicked. The scene of my last physical breast exam and it’s mysterious, excruciating pain came back as I’d realized that I’d not been doing breast exams.

I got off the phone interview and immediately conducted a self-breast exam. I went first to my left breast- it took only one go round to feel the lump. A hard, attached lump that wasn’t moving well and felt tender. It was obvious and devastating. It was in the same spot as the mysterious breast exam by my doctor from three years ago.

I was 43 when I’d found my own lump through self-breast exam- the precise age of my grandma on my dad’s side when she’d found her lump.

I’d shared this family history with my then GP when becoming her patient. Not then nor later did that piece of family history lead to a plan for early breast screening for me. I now know that I should have been screened at 40, if Manitoba had allowed it. Further to this, both my oncologist and breast surgeon suggested that I should have been screened 10 years prior to the age of my grandma’s diagnosis. Today, I’m committed to always educating and advocating about breast health. As a first degree relative of breast cancer, 33 will be the age that my daughter Cassidy insists on being screened.

Now, in our family, I always insist that we speak often and openly about our breast health and family health history.

Prior to my diagnosis, my family didn’t talk much of my grandma and great aunts who’d also had breast cancer in their 40’s on my dad’s side. I can recall checking off that the breast cancer was on my dad’s side as a patient in my 20’s and 30’s. My doctor had said my risk was lower due to the breast cancer history originating from my dad’s side. That was only 8 years ago.

Not only is this mentality absolutely incorrect and so dangerous, it actually tried to kill me.\

Breast cancer doesn’t discriminate; it isn’t particular to whether your history is on your family’s paternal or maternal side.

Many facets of the health system still hold on to pieces of dangerous misconceptions such as this one when approaching breast health, and they must be corrected; I believe it greatly impacted my ability to become proactively screened. To advocate for our breast health, we must have accurate information.

My breast cancer was stage 2, grade 3, estrogen positive, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Two lymph nodes also had cancer in them. And due to being radiated 28 times, I now have a lifetime condition of Lymphedema.

Could my life expectancy and quality of life outcomes have been improved had I been allowed to self-refer for breast screening at 40?

Yes. However, I’m forever grateful that the reminder in the form of a letter to get my routine pap smear ended up saving my life.

❖ Know your family health history.

❖ Talk to your family often about your health history.

❖ Ask questions always about the “what” and “why” behind each decision your doctor makes on your behalf and do your own research using credible sources.

❖ Seek other medical opinions and if something seems a bit different, have it examined immediately.

❖ You know your body best, and you are beyond worth it.